I'm going to struggle with words for this, but I feel I could benefit from trying to get some thoughts out of my head.
December 2018 has quite simply, been weird.
Every December, I take the first week off work, to get "Christmas" sorted. And I take a trip to Edinburgh to see the Christmas Markets, visit my palm reader, and have lunch with some of the family.
This year, I had my trip to Edinburgh. My husband and I decided to stay over too, so it was a nice break from the grey of Aberdeen - we upgraded our hotel with Clubcard points, and stayed in a rather more extravagant place than our usual Travelodge. Intended to have a romantic night away but with work and the like, we're both so shattered that we just crashed! But in Egyptian Cotton sheets instead of budget hotel ones!
It was a lovely gathering - meeting family. It is my favourite event of the year, Christmas, and to see my people just makes it so.
My palm reader gave me the push that I need right now. I don't want to say too much about that - her words are for me, no-one else.
After the trip to Edinburgh, my husband had to go to Dubai for work. Deep down, I didn't really want him to go. I tried to keep that to myself, but I think he sussed. It's not fair for him, I know. He wasn't overjoyed at traveling at this time of year, and stupid me made him feel worse about it. It's his job and I accept he has to travel, I have never considered it an issue. I actually quite like when he's away because I get to have the house to myself, and just veg out. But something about this trip just prickled me, and I felt "funny" about it.
In typical fashion, the goalposts of the trip continually changed. The return date changed a few times, then they wanted him to go via Egypt. Any other time of the year, would have been a split second of annoyance and then acceptance. He has to do what he has to do.
But this time of year.... Anyway - He is due to finish the work today, and then get a flight tonight which gets him back to Aberdeen around lunchtime tomorrow. Christmas Eve.
Thankfully, as a whole, we were quite well organised for Christmas. But in his absence, I have finished the present-buying, wrapped things, decorated the house, planned and bought all the Christmas food and drink, and almost got the house in a reasonable state for visitors!
We are hosting Christmas Day for all the parents, which I have been really looking forward to.
Except now, I have a hell of a cold bug going on. We're talking swollen glands, puffy face, bunged up nose, throbbing headaches, coughs, runny nose, sore throat, dizziness, skanky eyes... How can a nose be bunged up, yet dribbly at the same time? I'll never understand that. I really don't want any grown ups top get ill. My husband will no doubt catch a traveller bug off the plane - he always has a couple of days of a cold when he gets back from somewhere, but this doesnt last long. But the grown ups, I don't want them to get ill.
So chances are, Christmas Day I will be quarantined in my bedroom with Netflix. After all this prep!
Back to my review of the month - Through all of this, I have also managed to work pretty much every day. There have been a handful of issues that needed attention before the end of the year, and a couple of key projects to finalise, implementations to resolve. Sorry to blow my own trumpet, but bloody nailed it.
There's still plenty more to do before the end of the year but I have a few more office days to go. I only take the public holidays off work see. Save my holidays to when I want to take them.
I have also sent a handful of staff reviews to managers - I think Payroll is one of those areas where if everything goes to plan, no-one thinks about them. Soon as something unexpected happens, then we're high priority. What people don't see though, is all the work that does go on behind the scenes. I'm not sure about blood, but there is definitely sweat and tears! We've had consultants working literally 24/7 to get issues resolved. There is a fabulous element of teamwork across the global team, to get people paid correctly and on time, and a lot of this goes unnoticed. So my Christmas Spirit kicked in, and I wanted managers to know that actually, we're bloody good at it.
I had a works Christmas night out earlier in the month - And I can honestly say that it was the first one in a few years that I enjoyed. I think it is down to my own mental stance, I dont think anything changed work-wise, but I feel in a happier place now, and I'm looking forward to seeing where this takes me.
I also had a Christmas party night at Belwade! I got the tickets for me and the Hubby, at a time when both of us were feeling a bit alone at work (both of us have quite stand-alone roles at work, and don't necessarily belong to a team) so I decided we should have a Christmas night out. Anyway, he buggered off to Dubai, so I took my Mum and we had a lovely time! The food was amazing and the staff there are just lovely.
Mum stayed in our spare room, which meant I had to fight with the futon to make it into a bed. Jenny 1 Futon 0. I've even managed to fold the damn thing back up again. It doesn't look quite right but it'll do!
I'm pretty much out of steam now. Today I have to have a quick clean of the house, organise the kitchen a bit ready for Operation CookEverythingInTheHouse and take the presents to the husbands parents.
Then tomorrow - Go to work, order pizza for the people that make it in, and then collect hubby from the airport. Home.
The main thing is - We have turkey!
xxx
(Christmas Count - 11)
Sunday, 23 December 2018
Monday, 1 October 2018
Therapy Part II
I have now had a few sessions with my therapist, and all in all, it is helping.
She has introduced me to a few coping techniques, and strategies to deal with stressful situations. I have a recurring thought that I just couldn't put to rest. Every couple of days, I would remember this thought and it would completely take over my head for hours, and I simply could not focus on anything else for a day or two at a time.
We did one exercise to help me to manage this thought and in 6 weeks, it has probably crossed my mind once, maybe twice. And I managed to shove it away, instead of focusing. That's quite amazing.
We've done tapping techniques, so that I can deal with my fear of not-getting-out. It's helping..
We've begun aversion therapy, to stop me wanting the food that is bad for my medical conditions. I'm still working on this, and getting to grips with it. I seem to be able to override this still... My willpower is all wrong!
My latest piece of homework is to list positive things, and share these with my inner child. So that she can bring them into my current life. It's difficult to word. Positive things about myself and who I am.
So... October onwards, we have an all new Jenny. A Jenny that looks at the bigger picture and puts herself first. A happy Jenny. xxx
She has introduced me to a few coping techniques, and strategies to deal with stressful situations. I have a recurring thought that I just couldn't put to rest. Every couple of days, I would remember this thought and it would completely take over my head for hours, and I simply could not focus on anything else for a day or two at a time.
We did one exercise to help me to manage this thought and in 6 weeks, it has probably crossed my mind once, maybe twice. And I managed to shove it away, instead of focusing. That's quite amazing.
We've done tapping techniques, so that I can deal with my fear of not-getting-out. It's helping..
We've begun aversion therapy, to stop me wanting the food that is bad for my medical conditions. I'm still working on this, and getting to grips with it. I seem to be able to override this still... My willpower is all wrong!
My latest piece of homework is to list positive things, and share these with my inner child. So that she can bring them into my current life. It's difficult to word. Positive things about myself and who I am.
So... October onwards, we have an all new Jenny. A Jenny that looks at the bigger picture and puts herself first. A happy Jenny. xxx
Enough is enough
It really is the first of October today. Just like that, the year is flying by...
The last few weeks for me have been busy. Incredibly busy. I know I have been burning the candle at both ends, and it's only now that I can take a step back and have a look, that I realise what an impact it is having. Physically and mentally. I'm not sleeping well, not eating well, I'm a horrible person to speak to and spend time with. I don't want to do anything, and then I feel totally fed up for not doing anything. I have completely avoided people, conversation, both online and in the real world, and completely alienated myself from friends and family. And for what? I wish I could tell you, but I just don't know.
I spend the vast majority of my days gazing into space and pointing out flaws to myself. These can be real or imaginary, it doesn't matter: in my mind, they are very real. I know most are irrational but that doesn't stop them staring back at me, picking away, jumping up and down and demanding attention from my already exhausted mind.
Flaws can be with me. Or with life. Or with situations. And can be important or irrelevant. Other thoughts are memories of things that have happened...
The trouble, for me, with depression, is that it's all in my head. I know this. To some, that means you can overpower it, think "mind over matter" and tell it where to go. For me, however, it means there is no logical reason for this power taking over and pushing me down. It is easy to say "stop putting things off", "just do something"... but when all you can think of is failure, letting people down, letting yourself down, it is incredibly taxing to actually DO something. You can end up sitting there, with a thumping head, a throat aching for water and a mouth so dry you can't breathe well, because you mentally cant face standing up to go and get a drink.
The trouble for me, with anxiety, is that it keeps my mind constantly active. I'm always thinking "what if...." and the what-ifs are 99% irrational. What if the building catches fire and I can't get out? What if I lose another cat? What if I get that phonecall to say a parent has passed away? What if I get pregnant? What if I don't get pregnant? What if I can't get pregnant? What if that car swerves and hits me? What if I forget something and it's the "last straw"? What if what if what if.... and that's before I even add any comments about work.
The trouble for me, with OCD, is that it keeps these thoughts going. People presume that OCD means you are obsessed with germs and cleaning but it's not necessarily the case. It is to have an obsession with something and a compulsion to focus on that something. It can manifest physically, mentally, or both and it can be a mild habit or a life-controlling routine. It can be one thing, it can be many things.
The trouble for me, with stress, is that I don't notice until it has taken over.
At the moment, I am living with all four. And my lovely husband is living with me.
I have to stop this. I have to stop letting it take over, put myself first. Get back to health properly and take control of my life. I feel so ashamed that I have to declare this once again. Like I said, let myself down to get back to this state again.
But the first stage of fixing a problem is acknowledging its presence. So I hereby acknowledge that I am on a slippery slope and I want to climb back to the top.
For me. For my family. xxx
The last few weeks for me have been busy. Incredibly busy. I know I have been burning the candle at both ends, and it's only now that I can take a step back and have a look, that I realise what an impact it is having. Physically and mentally. I'm not sleeping well, not eating well, I'm a horrible person to speak to and spend time with. I don't want to do anything, and then I feel totally fed up for not doing anything. I have completely avoided people, conversation, both online and in the real world, and completely alienated myself from friends and family. And for what? I wish I could tell you, but I just don't know.
I spend the vast majority of my days gazing into space and pointing out flaws to myself. These can be real or imaginary, it doesn't matter: in my mind, they are very real. I know most are irrational but that doesn't stop them staring back at me, picking away, jumping up and down and demanding attention from my already exhausted mind.
Flaws can be with me. Or with life. Or with situations. And can be important or irrelevant. Other thoughts are memories of things that have happened...
The trouble, for me, with depression, is that it's all in my head. I know this. To some, that means you can overpower it, think "mind over matter" and tell it where to go. For me, however, it means there is no logical reason for this power taking over and pushing me down. It is easy to say "stop putting things off", "just do something"... but when all you can think of is failure, letting people down, letting yourself down, it is incredibly taxing to actually DO something. You can end up sitting there, with a thumping head, a throat aching for water and a mouth so dry you can't breathe well, because you mentally cant face standing up to go and get a drink.
The trouble for me, with anxiety, is that it keeps my mind constantly active. I'm always thinking "what if...." and the what-ifs are 99% irrational. What if the building catches fire and I can't get out? What if I lose another cat? What if I get that phonecall to say a parent has passed away? What if I get pregnant? What if I don't get pregnant? What if I can't get pregnant? What if that car swerves and hits me? What if I forget something and it's the "last straw"? What if what if what if.... and that's before I even add any comments about work.
The trouble for me, with OCD, is that it keeps these thoughts going. People presume that OCD means you are obsessed with germs and cleaning but it's not necessarily the case. It is to have an obsession with something and a compulsion to focus on that something. It can manifest physically, mentally, or both and it can be a mild habit or a life-controlling routine. It can be one thing, it can be many things.
The trouble for me, with stress, is that I don't notice until it has taken over.
At the moment, I am living with all four. And my lovely husband is living with me.
I have to stop this. I have to stop letting it take over, put myself first. Get back to health properly and take control of my life. I feel so ashamed that I have to declare this once again. Like I said, let myself down to get back to this state again.
But the first stage of fixing a problem is acknowledging its presence. So I hereby acknowledge that I am on a slippery slope and I want to climb back to the top.
For me. For my family. xxx
Friday, 31 August 2018
Therapy Part I
This evening, I had my first session with a therapist. It is a great relief to talk...
I have a couple more sessions booked and we'll see how it goes. Feeling quite positive though...
I have a couple more sessions booked and we'll see how it goes. Feeling quite positive though...
Sunday, 26 August 2018
Project Porch
We've been thinking. Well, what I mean is, I have been thinking... And convinced the husband to let me look into this.
Our front door opens up into the hallway. Straight into the hallway. No space. We have a rack of coats hung off the wall, a heap of shoes shoved under the radiator, and barely space to swing a cat (catchphrase, not something we'd actually do). And I always disliked the position of the red postbox in front of the house. We don't have a letterbox that goes into the house.
So I decided it might be nice to have a porch built on the front of the house. I don't know yet if I mean a proper extension, like an actual indoor room, or just a roof and a wooden-type lean-to. I'll pop some photo's up later if it's nice enough weather tomorrow.
It's a bit of a weak connection, but the lady who did my nails for the wedding... her partner's brother is a joiner for a local builders firm. And their parents are our neighbours. So I've asked her for his details so I can contact him and ask for some advice.
This is exciting though! I envisage a lovely space with shoe/boot storage, somewhere to hang the coats and a door with an actual letterbox and a cage on the back. And potentially, somewhere to park the Bratmobile if we decide to expand the family..... hah! Don't get excited - this belly is definitely just pies.... but we have been talking a bit about the possibility of a mini person in the future...
Our front door opens up into the hallway. Straight into the hallway. No space. We have a rack of coats hung off the wall, a heap of shoes shoved under the radiator, and barely space to swing a cat (catchphrase, not something we'd actually do). And I always disliked the position of the red postbox in front of the house. We don't have a letterbox that goes into the house.
So I decided it might be nice to have a porch built on the front of the house. I don't know yet if I mean a proper extension, like an actual indoor room, or just a roof and a wooden-type lean-to. I'll pop some photo's up later if it's nice enough weather tomorrow.
It's a bit of a weak connection, but the lady who did my nails for the wedding... her partner's brother is a joiner for a local builders firm. And their parents are our neighbours. So I've asked her for his details so I can contact him and ask for some advice.
This is exciting though! I envisage a lovely space with shoe/boot storage, somewhere to hang the coats and a door with an actual letterbox and a cage on the back. And potentially, somewhere to park the Bratmobile if we decide to expand the family..... hah! Don't get excited - this belly is definitely just pies.... but we have been talking a bit about the possibility of a mini person in the future...
Saturday, 21 July 2018
Missing: Presumed...?
Apologies in advance for a slightly down-heartened post here, but I really need to let go of some emotions and some words that are circling round my head.
Jazz is missing. She was last home on Monday 2nd July 2018. She's been seen down by the farm on the main road once since then, but the lady was not sure what day. After that, she's not been seen. So we consider her to be missing from the 9th.
She will quite often take off overnight, or for a couple of days, but the longest before has been 5 days, and that time we actually had to go and bring her back as she was all disorientated in the woods up the road. So, it doesn't look good and it is taking a lot of my energy to stay positive, and try and keep hopeful.
Jazz is wearing a pink collar, with a bell and a barrel with our contact details in. Also on the collar is a recording GPS tracker. It isn't a gadget that we can log in to and see where she is, but we can download her routes when she is back and see where she has been. We have had this for a few years, so are quite confident of her local haunts - Having checked those places, she's nowhere to be seen. The battery will have run down by now, but if she is handed in somewhere, we'll be able to see where she went in that first week!
Now, she's a bit feisty. She'll certainly hunt and find enough food, but it has been so hot during this time (cooled off now) that I worry she hasn't found water. I keep having to remind myself that there is actually nothing we can do. Just wait. I am not good at waiting..
How did Jazz come in to our lives?
Well, that's a story! Since I was 14, I was a huge fan of a band. I always liked music, live, recorded, playing, whatever. All types from classical to Cradle of Filth almost. But this one band just amazed me. They didn't sound like any other band to me, and the words were just what I needed to hear. There was an amazing community that came with the band too - I got quite involved in their fanbase, in their discussion forums and met a lot of the internet community at the gigs and shows. We even had gatherings without shows, people would travel all across the country, even from other countries, to go to meetups. There was a few of us would sit and drink with the band at some of the smaller shows. All in all, I think I have seen the band around 26 times over 15 years, ranging from pubs, to stadiums and festivals, and made so many real friends courtesy of the forum. I was never a groupie, I never wanted into the band in that way, but had an immense level of respect for them and their music.
Then it all changed. The singer was arrested for horrendous crimes which I will not detail here. I never said whether I believed he was guilty or innocent, I strongly believe that courts should decide that and everyone deserves the right to a fair trial. However, not long before the trial, he confessed that he was in fact guilty and was sentenced to around 36 years in prison. I struggle to this day to accept and move on. My (almost) idol, someone who had effectively been "with me" throughout half of my life, was evil. Many of us had thought he was a bit odd at times, but never to that extent... It felt like everything I had known for 15 years was bullsh. Lies. All fake. I lost all trust in people, I couldn't speak to anyone, I would have moments where I would just start shaking with, I don't know, fear? Hatred? Disgust? I have hugged this guy!!
His actions have completely wiped the band off the face of the Earth. Their music, their careers, poor guys, it's all over. Gone. And so much negativity associated with that name and brand. They never deserved that. I am immensely grateful that I stopped myself from getting that tattoo a while back. So pleased I am not physically branded! I am forever in debt to the bloke who talked me out of that!!
The internet community gradually dispersed, and while I am still in touch with one or two people, the connection is completely tainted.
So... Horrible situation with that, I had a bit of a mental crisis and struggled to cope with this loss of identity, loss of 15 years of my life. I went to counsellors, I went to therapists, and had all sorts of coping mechanisms thrust upon me. About 18 months down the line, it was suggested that I get a pet, so that I have something to look after and focus on, as I was still not quite "Jenny" again.
We had a great deal of discussion and decided that yes, we would get a cat. A kitten. And in January 2014, we found Pepper and adopted her.
And it worked... I started to get a bit of focus back, started to take care of myself again... Until July, and she went missing. This led to a major set back for me. We're talking no sleep, not eating and then binging, proper fits, sickness, periods of actual exhaustion and being unable to even make a cup of tea. I was a zombie. I threw myself into a campaign to find Pepper - Leaflets for the entire village, internet posts everywhere. Driving around for hours shouting for her. Going out late at night looking in bushes til the small hours of the morning. Constantly checking social media, cat re-homing sites, the SSPCA... Most people were supportive, I had a lot of positive vibes from internet strangers, and everyone said "don't give up hope".
After a few false leads, some nasty phone calls, and around 4 weeks of constant searching, I came across an advert on the Cats Protection site for a kitten called Hope. And she was beautiful. My (now) husband was working away, and I just phoned up and got a home visit arranged, which we passed. And I asked the husband when he got back to the UK.... Do you think we could meet Hope?
So we did. And we totally fell for her. She came home with us that very day, and within a couple of hours, we'd decided. She is our bit of hope, but that's not what we'll call her. She hadn't had a great upbringing, so we thought she wouldn't mind a change. And we called her Jasmine. Which was shortened to Jazz within minutes!
I will never, NEVER give up hope.
Never. xxx
Jazz is missing. She was last home on Monday 2nd July 2018. She's been seen down by the farm on the main road once since then, but the lady was not sure what day. After that, she's not been seen. So we consider her to be missing from the 9th.
She will quite often take off overnight, or for a couple of days, but the longest before has been 5 days, and that time we actually had to go and bring her back as she was all disorientated in the woods up the road. So, it doesn't look good and it is taking a lot of my energy to stay positive, and try and keep hopeful.
Jazz is wearing a pink collar, with a bell and a barrel with our contact details in. Also on the collar is a recording GPS tracker. It isn't a gadget that we can log in to and see where she is, but we can download her routes when she is back and see where she has been. We have had this for a few years, so are quite confident of her local haunts - Having checked those places, she's nowhere to be seen. The battery will have run down by now, but if she is handed in somewhere, we'll be able to see where she went in that first week!
Now, she's a bit feisty. She'll certainly hunt and find enough food, but it has been so hot during this time (cooled off now) that I worry she hasn't found water. I keep having to remind myself that there is actually nothing we can do. Just wait. I am not good at waiting..
How did Jazz come in to our lives?
Well, that's a story! Since I was 14, I was a huge fan of a band. I always liked music, live, recorded, playing, whatever. All types from classical to Cradle of Filth almost. But this one band just amazed me. They didn't sound like any other band to me, and the words were just what I needed to hear. There was an amazing community that came with the band too - I got quite involved in their fanbase, in their discussion forums and met a lot of the internet community at the gigs and shows. We even had gatherings without shows, people would travel all across the country, even from other countries, to go to meetups. There was a few of us would sit and drink with the band at some of the smaller shows. All in all, I think I have seen the band around 26 times over 15 years, ranging from pubs, to stadiums and festivals, and made so many real friends courtesy of the forum. I was never a groupie, I never wanted into the band in that way, but had an immense level of respect for them and their music.
Then it all changed. The singer was arrested for horrendous crimes which I will not detail here. I never said whether I believed he was guilty or innocent, I strongly believe that courts should decide that and everyone deserves the right to a fair trial. However, not long before the trial, he confessed that he was in fact guilty and was sentenced to around 36 years in prison. I struggle to this day to accept and move on. My (almost) idol, someone who had effectively been "with me" throughout half of my life, was evil. Many of us had thought he was a bit odd at times, but never to that extent... It felt like everything I had known for 15 years was bullsh. Lies. All fake. I lost all trust in people, I couldn't speak to anyone, I would have moments where I would just start shaking with, I don't know, fear? Hatred? Disgust? I have hugged this guy!!
His actions have completely wiped the band off the face of the Earth. Their music, their careers, poor guys, it's all over. Gone. And so much negativity associated with that name and brand. They never deserved that. I am immensely grateful that I stopped myself from getting that tattoo a while back. So pleased I am not physically branded! I am forever in debt to the bloke who talked me out of that!!
The internet community gradually dispersed, and while I am still in touch with one or two people, the connection is completely tainted.
So... Horrible situation with that, I had a bit of a mental crisis and struggled to cope with this loss of identity, loss of 15 years of my life. I went to counsellors, I went to therapists, and had all sorts of coping mechanisms thrust upon me. About 18 months down the line, it was suggested that I get a pet, so that I have something to look after and focus on, as I was still not quite "Jenny" again.
We had a great deal of discussion and decided that yes, we would get a cat. A kitten. And in January 2014, we found Pepper and adopted her.
And it worked... I started to get a bit of focus back, started to take care of myself again... Until July, and she went missing. This led to a major set back for me. We're talking no sleep, not eating and then binging, proper fits, sickness, periods of actual exhaustion and being unable to even make a cup of tea. I was a zombie. I threw myself into a campaign to find Pepper - Leaflets for the entire village, internet posts everywhere. Driving around for hours shouting for her. Going out late at night looking in bushes til the small hours of the morning. Constantly checking social media, cat re-homing sites, the SSPCA... Most people were supportive, I had a lot of positive vibes from internet strangers, and everyone said "don't give up hope".
After a few false leads, some nasty phone calls, and around 4 weeks of constant searching, I came across an advert on the Cats Protection site for a kitten called Hope. And she was beautiful. My (now) husband was working away, and I just phoned up and got a home visit arranged, which we passed. And I asked the husband when he got back to the UK.... Do you think we could meet Hope?
So we did. And we totally fell for her. She came home with us that very day, and within a couple of hours, we'd decided. She is our bit of hope, but that's not what we'll call her. She hadn't had a great upbringing, so we thought she wouldn't mind a change. And we called her Jasmine. Which was shortened to Jazz within minutes!
I will never, NEVER give up hope.
Never. xxx
Tuesday, 1 May 2018
An Introduction
Guess it's time for a little introduction.
My name is Jenny. I am a 34 year old living in Aberdeenshire with my husband, our 3 cats, and a 15 year old Moose called Johnny.
I work in an office. A busy department providing HR and Payroll support to a number of Oil and Gas customers. I've been with this team since 2009, though I did take a break in 2011 when I thought the grass was greener with another company. I was wrong, and negotiated my way back after 3 months away.
My role within the company, is to provide technical support. We use a software system called SAP and I am the SAP specialist for the UK. I get quite involved in new set ups and testing that the money that comes out in Payroll is what it should be. I don't do the programming myself, but I like to think of myself as a translator - I take the instruction from the customer, their requirement, translate it to geek-speak for the super-clever consultants, and then test the solution provided by the consultants. Then I sell it back to the customer and explain in layman terms how the solution works - effectively what they need to do to use it.
As well as this, I assist with technical issues in the system - If the electronic timesheet doesn't work right, or something in Payroll breaks. A lot of the customers we have work offshore on rotation, and have tricky set ups, which need a lot of monitoring and updating with new rates and conditions. I report figures to the government for payroll purposes. I provide reports to the customers for finance and billing. Process bank payments. Run payroll for some of our customers. Write "How To" guides. Get called the Jack of All Trades.
A few months ago, I had a bit of a breakdown. Nothing "serious". I didn't try and hurt myself, or anyone else, but I stalled and realised I couldn't carry on the way I was. I had stopped looking after myself, stopped wanting to do anything and stopped thinking about anything other than work. I wasn't me. This was just before our wedding. We decided to take 3 weeks off around the wedding - 1 before to pull all the plans together, and 2 weeks after for Honeymoon. When we returned to work after an amazing 10 days away traveling in Italy, however, it wasn't the fresh start I had envisaged. I was straight in at 60 hours that first week back. And that wasn't "catching up".... That was the expectation. So after a tearful weekend, we decided I would speak to my manager, who despite her high expectations of me, realised I needed to take a step back, and has been supportive with my reduction of hours.
Outside of work, I love to craft. I have what can only be described as a flippant crafting personality - I want to learn it all! My favourite thing is to crochet amigurumi. I'm not very refined, I call them wonky critters... just means they all have their own quirky personalities! I was inspired by my friend, Steffie, who makes "Cuties" and sells them to raise money for IVF treatment. Her Cuties really are adorable, and I have a few myself.
As well as crocheting, I make cards, I stitch birds and mice, I dabble in hand-stamping, and I make models with polymer clay. I made a lot of the decorations for our wedding, including my bouquet which was a bunch of fabric flowers with personal trinkets hidden.
So that's me. That's pretty much it...!
Jenny x
My name is Jenny. I am a 34 year old living in Aberdeenshire with my husband, our 3 cats, and a 15 year old Moose called Johnny.
I work in an office. A busy department providing HR and Payroll support to a number of Oil and Gas customers. I've been with this team since 2009, though I did take a break in 2011 when I thought the grass was greener with another company. I was wrong, and negotiated my way back after 3 months away.
My role within the company, is to provide technical support. We use a software system called SAP and I am the SAP specialist for the UK. I get quite involved in new set ups and testing that the money that comes out in Payroll is what it should be. I don't do the programming myself, but I like to think of myself as a translator - I take the instruction from the customer, their requirement, translate it to geek-speak for the super-clever consultants, and then test the solution provided by the consultants. Then I sell it back to the customer and explain in layman terms how the solution works - effectively what they need to do to use it.
As well as this, I assist with technical issues in the system - If the electronic timesheet doesn't work right, or something in Payroll breaks. A lot of the customers we have work offshore on rotation, and have tricky set ups, which need a lot of monitoring and updating with new rates and conditions. I report figures to the government for payroll purposes. I provide reports to the customers for finance and billing. Process bank payments. Run payroll for some of our customers. Write "How To" guides. Get called the Jack of All Trades.
A few months ago, I had a bit of a breakdown. Nothing "serious". I didn't try and hurt myself, or anyone else, but I stalled and realised I couldn't carry on the way I was. I had stopped looking after myself, stopped wanting to do anything and stopped thinking about anything other than work. I wasn't me. This was just before our wedding. We decided to take 3 weeks off around the wedding - 1 before to pull all the plans together, and 2 weeks after for Honeymoon. When we returned to work after an amazing 10 days away traveling in Italy, however, it wasn't the fresh start I had envisaged. I was straight in at 60 hours that first week back. And that wasn't "catching up".... That was the expectation. So after a tearful weekend, we decided I would speak to my manager, who despite her high expectations of me, realised I needed to take a step back, and has been supportive with my reduction of hours.
Outside of work, I love to craft. I have what can only be described as a flippant crafting personality - I want to learn it all! My favourite thing is to crochet amigurumi. I'm not very refined, I call them wonky critters... just means they all have their own quirky personalities! I was inspired by my friend, Steffie, who makes "Cuties" and sells them to raise money for IVF treatment. Her Cuties really are adorable, and I have a few myself.
As well as crocheting, I make cards, I stitch birds and mice, I dabble in hand-stamping, and I make models with polymer clay. I made a lot of the decorations for our wedding, including my bouquet which was a bunch of fabric flowers with personal trinkets hidden.
So that's me. That's pretty much it...!
Jenny x
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